The Loss of A Loving Father

It has been slightly more than 11 years - 11 years, 3 months and 1 day (according to the lunar calendar), that I have been with him and it has been 9 years or so that I have been close to him.

Strict he may be, he was no less loving, something many of us till today do not realise; many still do not see the LOVE he has on us in his many teachings and reminders, seeing those as lectures and scoldings.

He had taught us many things, but much more yet to be imparted. His demise is certainly a GREAT LOSS to us.

I know not now whether the emo's in me but I certainly would miss him in the days to come.

QR, I love you, and I pray that your efforts for the past 30 over years shall not end in our hands.

R.I.P

Witnessing Life Draining Away is VERY PAINFUL

The pulse rate was normal, only because the heart was under the effect of medicine. The blood pressure told us no lie - it was way too low.

We just couldn't pull our eyes away from the machine even though we were calling out for him to open his eyes and crying/sobing at the same time. Every time we saw an increase in blood pressure, even the slightest bit after every dip, we bore hope that he will pull through and everything will just be fine.

Alas, the graph went flat, there was no pulse reading and the blood pressure was exceptionally high. Out of denial I suppose, we thought it could be some machine problem or the contacts were loose. We called for the nurse but the reply was our worst nightmare - he is going, really going......

Death certified, tears poured by many, but for me, I was grieved to no tears, we call it 慾哭無淚 in Chinese. Containing our own grief, some of us had to help the fainted and rationalise thoughts of the lost ones.

That short two hours or so seemed to have lasted forever. The pain, I know not when it will go off. I think I now know roughly how it feels for those I've "got to know (of)" who have lost their love ones rather recently.

Death leaves an heartache no one can heal.